I'm trying. . .

This day is difficult. Today I don't feel like I can handle things. This morning, on the way to class, I was almost run over by a car. The man was turning one way and we started to walk across the road. In the middle of his turn, he decided he didn't want to turn right, but instead wanted to go the complete opposite way, so he made a U-turn. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of the U, pushing Emma in the stroller. He turned so suddenly that I only had time to scream and push Emma forward. I pushed off his car with my left hand and saw the tires spin around about 2 inches from my left foot. He didn't see me until I had hit the car and screamed. I quickly pushed Emma to the corner, so grateful that God had protected her. . . again. My insides were tight and my legs were shaking. The man rolled his window down and said something I didn't understand and then drove away. At least he said it nicely, making me understand that he was apologetic. I wasn't mad; he probably didn't see us. I walked on to class, shaking the whole way, grateful that we were not hurt.
Class went well. Then we came back to the hotel. The clerk at the desk told me that we needed to move out of our room on Monday. Apparently, someone else had rented this suite a long time ago and they're coming Monday. The hotel has no other suites available, only a single room. Kevin's traveling all of next week. I'm so overwhelmed. I'm supposed to pack up our entire two rooms and move everything into a single room for two nights and then move it all back. I mean, really, can anything else go the way I don't want it to?? We have every shelf, closet and drawer in these two rooms full of our things. . . a microwave, a printer, all Emma's toys, our clothes, books, office supplies, suitcases, guitar, mandolins, shoes, scrapbooking supplies, coats, blankets, goodness. . . everything we sent in our air shipment. I feel so helpless. We're supposed to move into our house in a few weeks. I'm so tired of feeling homeless, so tired of feeling like I don't belong here. I know today is unique. I know I won't feel like this every day. Today it's just piling up. I don't even know where to start with anything. I just keep getting this feeling that I AM NOT IN CONTROL!!! BUT, I want to be! I can't do anything about what's going on and it's so frustrating sometimes. Sometimes it's very freeing. Maybe this is part of growing into a better person. Maybe I'm going to learn that it's really OK and things aren't really that bad. Maybe one day I'll be really mature and just say, "Oh, OK. We'll do what we need to do." Today is not that day. Today, I'm two years old and as I look back at this, I think, Wow! Am I really crying about all this?? Then I remember that it's OK not to be OK. It's OK to be honest about where I am. I don't want to stay in this icky place, but right now I'm here. I don't have anyone to talk to, so I'm writing this out. Maybe by seeing it written, I can make some progress in growing and maturing. I'm grateful we didn't get run over this morning. I'm grateful that we've had 2 bedrooms for almost 10 weeks. I'm grateful that the sun is shining and it's going to be a beautiful day. I'm thankful that I'm here with my two favorite people and that I am loved by a God who is bigger than all things. "Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name."Ps.103:1.