Took a Fall. . .

Yesterday we were supposed to go to the park in the afternoon. I changed plans and decided to go see Holly, the American who moved here almost 2 weeks ago. Her husband works at Deere so she'll be a stay-at-home wife here. We weren't at her house but half an hour when Emma fell off the stairs. Yes, fell off the stairs. She didn't fall down them. Holly and Aaron have a two-story house and the stairs to the second story are split, with a landing in between. Emma and I were upstairs because Holly had been showing us the bedrooms. Then she ran downstairs to answer her phone. Emma started to follow, then I decided to go also. Emma was about 3-4 steps ahead of me and slipped on the shiny wood steps. Then, in slow-motion, she kept sliding, until she slid under the railing, and then through it. Her hands were the last part of her to go and she landed on the lower steps, on her back and head. I screamed and ran down to grab her. I was so thankful that the only blood I saw was coming from her lip. She had bitten her bottom lip with her top two teeth. I knew from how she had landed that she'd hit her head and back, but I didn't know how bad. Again, I was grateful that she didn't have blood coming from her head. I just sat and rocked her for several minutes, saying, "Oh dear God, Oh Jesus, please let her be OK." She just cried and cried and cried and I didn't know what to do. Holly sat with me and I just held her while she cried, not caring about the blood that was soaking into my shirt. Then I called Kevin, not knowing what to do. He told me to come pick him up from work and then we'd go see Barbara, who happens to be a nurse. We decided to have her do a little checkup on Emma before we took her to the doctor. I drove Emma to the hotel to pick up her blanket and kitty, two comfort items of hers that I didn't have with me. I gave them to her and told her to tell Kitty what happened. She looked at her kitty and said, "Kitty, I fell down." Then she started crying again. We picked Kevin up from work and headed to Barbara's. Emma loves Barbara, by the way. We spent about an hour there and I listened intently as Barbara told me what she thought I should do. Because there were no signs of a concussion, we decided to take Emma back to the hotel. We ordered her some soft noodles to eat, knowing her teeth were really sensitive, and she ate everything. However, she wouldn't let me put her in her highchair. It was as if she was scared to be alone. She sat on my lap during our meal and then I carried her back to our room. We changed her clothes and she snuggled with me while I read her books. After a dose of Motrin, she cuddled up close to me and fell asleep on my chest, like she used to do as a little baby. It was both sad and very, very sweet. While Kevin took a shower, I stayed with Emma, not wanting to let her go. It was such a scary evening. I cried as I held her, so thankful for everything about her, so thankful that she was OK, so thankful God protected her from anything worse. After almost an hour, I put her in her bed, knowing I'd be up to check on her several times throughout the night. Then I went to my own bed and all the What ifs and Why didn't Is started running through my head. Kevin kept telling me it wasn't my fault. I'm still taking some responsibility for it, but I'm not blaming myself. I reread an email that a friend sent me several months ago, when we were trying to decide whether or not to come here. She and her husband, with three kids, live overseas and one of her pieces of encouragement was that, "my kids could just as easily be physically hurt or emotionally damaged by living in the States....they are not "protected" there, even if I kid myself that they are....either place I have to trust God to care for them....here I just have to be more obvious about the handing over of them." What a huge Truth. Regardless of where I am, Emma is under the care of an incredible God. He knows the number of hairs on her head and He sees each tear that falls and He knows her wants and needs better than her mother. He loves her with an amazing love and I am going to trust that while we are here, He will take care of her. He always has. . .
This morning Emma woke up and began talking in her bed. It's been a good day. Her front teeth are very sensitive and she has two fat lips and a cut on her bottom lip. She has a small knot on the back of her head and two bruises on her lower back. She's a trooper though! She went to Portuguese class with me, repeated more phrases than she ever has, and ate breakfast and lunch! We read several books this afternoon and she's taking a nap now. I'm blogging partly because I don't want to email this story to everyone, partly because I want to reread it someday and remember that she is cared for by God more than she is by me, and partly because I needed to get it all out.
Oh, another little piece of the story. . . Emma was so so sad when we picked Kevin up from work. He was driving us to Barbara's and was trying to help the situation. He started to tell Emma a story, the same one we tell her almost every night. It always starts the same, "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Emma Jae. She was the most beautiful princess in all the land and her mommy and daddy loved her very much. One day, princess Emma went for a walk and she found some rocks and she threw them in the water and they went," (this is where Emma says, "SPLASH!" and then laughs). Last night he told that story and wouldn't you know it, her part came and on cue, she said, "SPLTH". Unfortunately, due to her swollen lips, it came out with more of a lisp and didn't really sound at all like a "splash!". I couldn't help but laugh and then Kevin was mad because I was making fun of her lisp. I just looked at him and felt such a huge wave of love. Here I was, trying to comfort our daughter and he knew exactly what to do to make her laugh. It was just a really amazing moment for me. I love that man. I love how encouraging he was last night and how incredibly loving he was to Emma and to me. I'm sooooo grateful we are here together.