Happy Birthday Mom. . .

My mom would be 73 today. I suppose this day will never pass without some raw emotion spilling from my heart. I read a quote a while back that said something like, "The hard part about a loved one dying is that you have to live through it." And continue to live through it. Life takes on an unwanted new normal until one day, that normal is more normal than what used to be. I find myself wondering what my life would look like if I could still talk to and see my mom and it's hard to imagine.
I wonder about my dad and my brothers and sisters. I wonder about the deep impact her death had on all of us. I was 24 when she died and I feel like I was so young. I imagine my older siblings felt the same way. Is anyone ever too old to need Mom? I don't think so.
I pulled out some old sewing material that I had acquired from her sewing room. I have a few pieces that have been sewn together already. Her hands created those pieces. As my hands felt the fabric, I closed my eyes and could almost hear the whirring sound of her sewing machine. To this day, I've never been able to press the pedal to the metal like she did. The sound was so continuous, so rhythmic and perfect. She was talented, in so many ways.
Today I'm going to remember her in as many ways as I can. Emma and I have been talking about her and I'm looking forward to hearing her voice on the CD I have. I loved that woman. I sure do miss her.