The Score. . .

For those of you interested, the cockroach score is now 4-13-1. I'm in the lead with Kevin and Emma trailing respectively. Some of the killings are quite simple and involve one whack! with a flip-flop, or chinelo. Others, however, are much more complex, and a bit humorous, I might add. So, for your entertainment (and our embarrassment), I've decided to share a few highlights.
Last week, I woke up and made my way to the couch, where Kevin was already reading and having his morning cup of coffee. As I sat down, he said, "I have three." Huh? "Three. Cockroaches, that is." I knew when I went to bed the night before that he didn't have three, so he had to have killed the third one either during the night or early that morning. How?, I asked. "He was in my pants." (A little background: We don't have closets in our house, so we had to buy giant wardrobes called guarda-roupas. We have two of them and they are huge, so we put them in our third bedroom. Every night before bed, Kevin goes to the guarda-roupa room to get his clothes for the next day. Then he hangs them on one of the towel racks in our bathroom so he can do everything he needs to do in the bathroom the next morning.) So, I was thinking maybe the 'roach was on his pants, but decided to clarify. "No. IN." Then he told me that he was just doing his morning routine (half-awake, mind you), when he went to pull his pants on and discovered a little crunchy 'roach in the pant leg. The cockroach fell out of his pant leg and tried to run away. Fortunately, he had his shoes in the bathroom, too, so the little guy met his demise early that morning. I had mixed emotions. I felt so awful for him, but I also almost peed my pants laughing. Just imagining the scene makes me grin even a week later!
Well, later that day, I was sorting clothes in piles to start some laundry. I took a load to the washroom and forgot about the other two piles. A few hours later, I remembered the load of whites and went to pick up the pile. Ironically, I was thinking of Kevin's story from earlier in the day and grinning to myself. I picked up the small pile of clothes and what do you know? A giant cockroach scurried away toward my dresser! My immediate reaction was to scream and drop the clothes. Unfortunately, I lost time and he gained a few seconds on me. We have solid oak dressers, but that didn't stop me. I pulled it away from the wall, thankful for wood floors. I couldn't see the culprit anywhere! I was fuming. No cockroach has ever gotten away from me! I used the broom and still couldn't get him. Sneaky little guy. Finally, in frustration, I grabbed the bug spray and used half the can under our dresser. Still nothing. I gave up, knowing full well I was going to have problems sleeping that night.
That evening, I asked Kevin if he was sure he killed the 'roach that was in his pants. "Oh yes. I'm pretty sure he was dead." Dang. I was hoping we didn't have two in one day. We were both in the bathroom getting ready for bed. As he opened the door to our bedroom, my eyes caught a dark object on our white wall. "Loooooooook!!! It's him!!" I grabbed the nearest flip-flop and climbed up on my dresser. Because he was two inches from the ceiling, he was still way out of my reach. As I was leaning over to take aim, Kevin warned me that I wasn't going to be able to reach him. I yelled at him to grab the other flip-flop and then I jumped from the dresser to the bed. Kevin came up behind me and I took aim. Then I surprised Kevin and the 'roach by throwing the flip-flop at the cockroach. He started running (the 'roach, not Kevin), but couldn't keep his footing and fell nine feet to the floor. I think he was a little stunned then because he ran around in a few circles. As I was on my knees on the bed, I watched myhusband take aim with his trusty flip-flop and whack! whack! whack! Third time is always a charm!! He looked at me with a smile and said, "Now I've got four. Wanna clean him up?" And I did.
Yesterday morning, I was playing with Emma when nature called. When it's just the two of us, I usually leave the bathroom door open. So, there I was doing my business, when suddenly, a massive cockroach (seriously, this one was on steroids) slowly crawled out from behind the door. He was directly in front of me, but about two feet away. Wouldn't you know, I happened to be barefoot! Barefoot and pants down!! I had NO defense! I watched him wiggle his antennaes around as if he were searching for something yummy and I was paralyzed! I yelled at Emma, "Emma, bring me my flip-flop, NOW!!" Bless her heart, she obeyed faster than lightning. I rarely raise my voice with her, so she must have been terrified! She handed me the flip-flop and backed away. Now for a little TMI (Too Much Info, by the way): because I wasn't really finished doing my business (ahem, wiping), I couldn't just pull up my pants and kill the 'roach. He was making his way around the perimeter of our little half-bathroom and soon he would be near my feet. So, I had no choice. I stood up, flip-flop in my right hand, pants being held around my knees with my left hand, Emma frowning at me from a few feet away. He had crawled behind the toilet, behind the trash can and finally made his way back to the opening of the door. He was in plain sight. "You see him, Emma?" "I do," she replied. WHACK! "Now you don't!" I sat back down and finished my business. (He was #12. #13 wasn't nearly as big, nor was his demise worth a post.)

PS - My husband just made fun of me for devoting a whole post to the killing of cockroaches. He did laugh a few times, though.